Monthly Archives: July 2013

A letter from JP Morgan CEO to Gold Diggers

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JP Morgan Chase Letter 

 An alleged “young and pretty” girl posted a forum on a popular website, asking what she should do to “find a rich guy”.

 Despite this screaming: desperate, low class and gold digger, I also have to add in that she clearly has no decorum. 

So lets read from the original source : 

 What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

-Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from the “apparent” CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

Controversial advertisements

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I first thought of writing this topic when doing some PR work. We were each asked to pick out an advertisement of our choice and share why we believe it is controversial. At first, I couldn’t think of one, so I decided to google the subject. This is where I stumbled upon the website “oneextrapixel” and gasped as I read their article “60+ More Extreme and Controversial Ads to Stun You Again”. Scrolling through multiple advertisements that range from an elephant being duct taped, an elderly woman in an old peoples home knitting a hang rope, a butcher barbering a person with a butches knife, and multiple more. 
Sisley 
While I felt like I had something to say about each of them, an advertisement that really stood out (in terms of fashion) was one named “Fashion Junkie” by Sisley. At first glance when looking at the advertisement I see two girls who look to be snorting cocaine, which cohesively from two straps of a dress. After researching other peoples viewpoint on the Sisleys ad, I learnt that  Zoo Advertising in Shangahi, China had published the advertisement in June of 2007.
An advertisement by Good Parent 

So are critics acting to hash against the controversial ad that is believed to support bad habits such as drugs, or maybe conveying that, in order to be fashionable cocaine should be used? 

When I wanted to learn more about the company Sisley, I was led to a blog written by Brianna Dewulf.  Sisley is an Italian based brand owned by United Colors of Benetton. To no surprise they are notoriously known for their racy advertisements, instead of their clothing. “It hit the Internet and is posted on a lot of other sites that have to do controversial advertising or as they sometimes call it “shockvertising.”  The name speaks for itself.” She writes, going on to depict the companies advertising technique even more.
 Aside from one girls breast hanging our of her dress (which I barely noticed until a follow blogger pointed it out!), a Chase credit card is also seen at the side of the dress with white powder on it (amusingly made to look like cocaine).
 “I chose this ad out of all the other ones I saw on the Internet because this one just got to me. I can’t help but to think, “What the hell is wrong with their advertising agency?” Do they know how this might affect their audience?” says Brianna Dewulf. Meanwhile I can’t help but wonder what JP Morgan had to say about this public advertisement or how its legal?

I then went on to read another blog post written by Alex Sheppard, who writes how “nonchalantly” Sisley prints their name in the middle of the image, promoting the obsession and addiction to “fashion” as long as it’s with their brand. “They’ve managed to take a scenario that would turn most people away from the product and tried to sell their own with that message. It’s really quite astonishing.” she writes.
Reading other peoples opinions on this advertisement really helped me analyze it, in many different ways. And even notice specific details,  like the Chase credit card.
Once an organization has received product publicity in a magazine, it should market the publicity further to achieve maximum “sales punch”.  Clearly this advertisement uses Pathos in order to invoke a strong reaction from those who see it and spark emotion. Sisley wanted to cross the line and grab peoples attention in order to get their name out there. Even if it meant reaching to extreme measures by  having an advertisement with two models snorting lines of cocaine. 
Over all this advertisement is like the saying “Bad Press is Better than No Press”, it incites anger and controversy around their name and brand image, but at the end of the day people were still talking about Sisley, which is exactly what advertisers want to happen.  “
Being memorable” is one of the most important tasks in business, along with branding. A brand needs to stand out in every way that it can, especially as there are countless clothing advertisements and companies out there. 
While I do believe that this advertisement is bold in terms of producing company awareness, I don’t believe that it will bring any more business to the brand. After all-how many dresses did you notice? 

Supreme

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Being a big kid in Fendi and Peach  
Playing dress up (in store) wearing MTTM Supreme hat (I blurred out what it said on it!) 
Dylans Candy Bar
Amaranth and Bubbly 
Shopping & Macaroons (lets hope Clinique works wonders!) 

The City

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A gorgeous view! 
Smiles from Midtown Manhattan
Barnby getting dressed up by the little ones & udon soup from Fuji. Luckily we skipped out on the saki! 
A giant dragon fly and a present for Louise (my mums lovely best friend & Poppys Godmother)  visiting from England

Inside the head of “real life” Barbie Valarie Lukyanova

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Valeria Lukyanova has courted international controversy by transforming herself into a human Barbie using plastic surgery and dramatic make up to become “the most perfect woman on the internet”. 

With currently 876,000 Facebook Fans and 7,484 Twitter followers, her tiny waist, skeletal arms and enormous blue colored contact lenses, have continuously made headlines around the world.

Ukraine’s Valeria believes that being Barbie is the embodiment of perfection, and at only 23 years of age, is determined to transform herself into a human doll.  Martha De Lacey, a writer for the Daily Mail shared that a vice.com documentary-maker has gone behind the scenes with Valeria to capture her “idiosyncratic life” on film.

Valeria Lukyanova 

Vice director, Will Fairman shared with the MailOnline that he had been interested to learn more about Valeria, once she popped up in “bewildering and bizarre images and videos” on the internet. “I followed it up and discovered she was a new age opera composer and gave seminars on spirituality, so she obviously had a few more strings to her bow than just being a Tumblr girl.” He said.
Apparently Valeria was skeptical to say yes to the interview, but once Vice.com agreed to do the documentary on her “spiritual and astral theories” she said yes.

Valeria genuinely believes that she is from a completely different planet (possibly Venus) but isn’t 100% sure. “She’s not a fraud” said director Will Fairman. “She genuinely believes she’s from another planet. 100 per cent. She’s not making any money from her life – not even from the seminars she gives – which is originally why I thought she was doing this.” 

Human Barbie 

So how on earth does she get the money to pay for all of this surgery? She is supported by her husband (a construction worker) who labels himself as her manager. Throughout the documentary he spends time discussing “theories” about her pre-earth space life.

“I come from a place where only love and joy exist..but I noticed the media is only interested in negativity: show someone in a bad light, show someone’s mistakes. There are hate blogs and communities about me who post bad pictures about me and try and worsen my mood. Perhaps at some point I was an energy vampire, because I constantly received their negative reactions and enjoyed it. Specifically for them I created posts that would make them angry.But people who think badly of me just aren’t happy in their own lives. When they are happy they will forget about me.” She says.

Valeria also added in that she only has a small group of friends who accept who for exactly who she is. “I asked myself if everything was alright with my head. I hear voices all the time and see different beings. One day I decided to visit a psychiatrist. I told him everything-He listened to me carefully and said it was very lucky it was him because with another doctor I definitely would have been taken to a special place.  But he said, “I’ve been studying esoterism for years and can see you are psychic”.  

Valeria Lukyanova in Vice documentary 

The director added in that Valeria was kind of like the “really pretty, popular girl at school who you’re completely blown away by. She’s like a little queen, and she carries herself like that all the time. She never breaks. It’s not like the camera turns off and she whips out a cigarette and gets into a tracksuit. She’s naturally like that: a girl who has been getting attention ever since she was a teenager and gets crazy attention wherever she is. And she is paranoid about not looking perfect. I don’t know exactly where it comes from, but I suspect really it’s down to… she seems to have a quite a lot of issues about her physical self, and is incredibly fixated with her image. She manages it down to the finest detail, which is why something so much as a missing belt can trigger a stroke.” He stated to the Daily mail. What’s your theory?

Juice Cleanse

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When first looking into companies that offer juice cleanses, I was sure to look up reviews and ratings before jumping into one. While I have heard that they are good for you, Laura Argintar a writer from refinery29 confirms that the “jury is still out on whether juice cleanses actually detox the body”.

So it took me months before realizing that a juice cleanse is something that I really want to experiment with and actually do wholeheartedly. The top three companies that interested me the most were: BluePrintCleanse, CoolerCleanse and OrganicAvenue. I made sure to research the taste, calorie information and sugar level of each drink.

To sum it up, I learnt that BluePrintCleanse offers three different levels. Renovation, Foundation, and Excavation.  Renovation was designed for beginners (like me)! Which is designed to gently rid the body of impurities by using 100% organic, raw, and fresh pressed fruit and vegetable juices in replacement of meals. The juices are also numbered in the order that you should drink them in, and one days worth of juice is made with approximately 20 pounds of freshly pressed fruits and vegetables. BluePrint founder Zoe Sakoutis says that “The nutrients go directly into your blood stream, feeding your cells within 10 to 15 minutes to help you regain an alkaline balance while normalizing your digestion and metabolism.” Fans of the BPC include Blake Lively, Sarah Jessica Parker and Olivia Wilde.

Blue Print Cleanse 

Then there was cooler cleanse which offers a 24 hour cleanse, opposed from a 3 day cleanse like BPC. For first time cleansers, this seems like the most compelling way to experience the “invigorating power” of raw juices including “yummy” (sarcasm is getting the best of me) ingredients like kale and spinach. Similar to BPC, it contains of six juices that you drink every two hours but my research shows that it’s calorie count is much less than BPC (less than 1000 a day), so I questioned weather this would be right for me once I started to introduce food again. “The Juice For A Day program provides the benefits of juicing, without letting people feel like they’re in over their heads,” says Eric Helms who is the co-founder of Cooler Cleanse. “Just replace your regular meals with six fresh-pressed juices for a day-long mini-cleanse that will leave you feeling like a brighter, lighter, more supercharged version of yourself.”

Last but not least: Organic Avenue. These adorable little chubby bottles and passing the store on Lexington Avenue (each and every morning) made me intrigued to research.  I found an article written by glamour editor: Mariana Khidekel, and read about her first experience “cleansing”. With fans like Gwyneth Paltrow, and being New York City based, I decided to find out more about this company realizing it was founded by Denise Mari who started the company on the belief that “you are what you eat, beauty comes from the inside out and healing happens naturally via a fresh food, plant based diet”. This was another confirmation as to why I wanted to try a cleanse.

Similar to health editor Mariana Khidekel, I am also someone who wants to do it all or nothing. So the verdict for me was picking BluePrintCleanse. After all it is available via website, or FreshDirect (a website I use way to often)! And I could start it as early as tomorrow without hesitation. The only downer to ordering my cleanse via freshdirect and not the actual website itself is that I don’t get motivational emails or an instruction booklet-but I found this as a positive thing, realizing that I could better understand it via internet and reviews.

So the cleanse came mid afternoon and after a night of drinking yesterday at 230 fifth avenue (which I will review in an additional post) I felt like it was much more appropriate to start the cleanse tomorrow when I would feel better from drinking my weight in vodka (not literally). Once the box arrived, I unpacked the sparse design containers and hoped that I could stomach the $70 per day drink.

I then read that NY times writer Judith Newman compared the green juice to “drinking everything bad that ever happened to me in high school.” Gasp! Anyway I will update tomorrow, and in the meantime eat up on the food that I can. In other words that means ordering $68 worth of food for two people from seamless. Wish me luck!